Sunday, February 28, 2010
sex font !
Just Leave Tiger Woods Alone Already
This entire story breaks my heart. As if the family isn’t enduring enough pain already. This scandal has proved one thing. Tiger Woods is human. He makes mistakes just like the rest of us. So many are bashing him, when they too could have made the same mistakes. Any one of us could have. At the end of the day, we are all animals. We are all capable of this. It occurs in 70% of relationships.
Anyone in his position would have been vulnerable. Why is everyone bashing him verses the home-wreckers that seduced him? How could they not know that he was married? He is in fact, Tiger Woods. Granted, he shouldn’t have done those things. He should have had more character. But what about the ladies? What about the fact that they had no class or morals? It does indeed take two!
Obviously there are deeper issues beyond cheating. Cheating is typically a symptom of a troubled marriage. There are issues in the relationship long before it happens. And typically those issues are because of both people in the relationship. It takes two to make a relationship, and two to break it.
Perhaps everyone should picture themselves getting millions to do what they love, while always away from their family. While one is home taking care of the kids, the other is bringing home the bacon. Any relationship like that, will encounter problems and there will likely be adultery. It doesn’t matter who it is. And when relationships have issues, and peoples needs aren’t being met these kind of things happen. So lets let the family have a little privacy. Please?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Flo on film
So many of you have asked me what Flo looks like. So, reduce the brightness setting on your computer, here she is…
This picture was taken at Flo’s house with Kirsty’s camera. It’s an especially flattering one of Flo who had her head in a seed catalogue at the time.
As long as I’ve known her, Flo has experimented with all manner of hair colourants. This one’s called O’Hara Carotene but I think it really suits her. And I’m sure Flo wouldn’t mind me telling you that those are her own teeth although there’s more mercury in that mouth than you’ll find in half a dozen thermometers. Still, it’s not difficult to see why four husbands have found my best friend irresistible. I think she still has something to offer to the opposite sex; I’d like to think we both do.
Inilah Kondom Wanita Anti Pemerkosaan
Kondom wanita antiperkosaan adalah penemuan Sonette Ehlers, seorang wanita dari Afrika Selatan. Tujuannya adalah untuk mencegah perkosaan, di mana kondom tersebut menjepit penis penyerang, melukai dan membuatnya tidak berdaya.
Kondom wanita antiperkosaan
Alat ini berbentuk kantong dari latex yang diberi duri-duri logam mikroskopis yang menuju ke dalam, dan dipakai oleh seorang wanita dalam vaginanya seperti tampon. Apabila ia diserang dan mencoba memperkosa si pengguna lewat vagina, penisnya akan memasuki kantong latex tersebut dan tertusuk duri-duri, menyebabkan rasa sakit dan (diharapkan) memberi waktu untuk si korban melarikan diri.
Kondom wanita antiperkosaan
Kondom ini akan tetap melekat pada tubuh si penyerang dan hanya dapat dicabut dengan operasi kecil, dan dengan demikian akan terpaksa memanggil rumah sakit dan polisi.
Kondom wanita antiperkosaan
Selain itu berfungsi seperti kondom wanita biasa, mencegah kehamilan dan penularan penyakit menular. Kondom ini diperkenalkan di Afrika Selatan, di mana banyak kasus perkosaan terjadi.
sumber
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Baru 17 Tahun Sudah Punya 7 Anak!!
Jika gadis remaja lainnya yang berusia 17 tahun sedang senang-senangnya menikmati masa remaja dengan sekolah dan bermain, maka lain halnya dengan Pamela Villarruel. Gadis remaja asal Leones, Argentina ini justru memiliki tujuh anak kandung di usianya yang masih sangat muda. ‘Tragis’nya lagi, ketujuh anak tersebut ia dapat dari tiga laki-laki yang berbeda.
Pamela adalah anak bungsu di antara enam bersaudara dari pasangan Jose dengan Magdalena. Sang ibu adalah seorang perawat di sebuah rumah sakit, sedangkan sang ayah cacat dan pengangguran. Mereka tinggal di Leones, sebuah kota pertanian yang berjarak sekitar 480 kilometer dari ibu kota Argentina, Buenos Aires.
Pamela mengalami empat kali kehamilan dan tiga kali melahirkan. Kehamilan pertama ia dapatkan saat ia berusia 13 tahun, namun bersama orang tuanya janin tersebut ia gugurkan saat masih berusi tiga bulan.
Rupanya Pamela tak pandai memetik pelajaran dari pengalaman pertamanya. Ketika usianya menginjak 14 tahun, ia bertemu dengan Miguel Gonzalez yang kala itu masih berusia 17 tahun. Mereka berpacaran terlampau bebas hingga akhirnya Pamela hamil lagi pada usia 14 tahun. Anak pertama yang ia beri nama Lisandro ini ia lahirkan pada Juni 2005. “Miguel masih bersama saya hingga saya melahirkan, setelah itu ia pergi meninggalkan saya bersama keluarganya pindah ke lain kota,” ujar Pamela kepada reuter.com.
Saat usinya menginjak usia 15 tahun, ia bertemu tambatan hati lain bernama Ariel Benitez. Mereka pun berpacaran. Lagi-lagi, Pamela berpacaran hingga kelewat batas hingga ia hamil dan melahirkan tiga anak kembar melalui bedah sesar pada Juli 2006. Ketiga anak perempuan ini ia beri nama Ludmila, Macarena, dan Candela. “Kehamilan serta kelahiran kembar tiga ini sangat menyulitkan Pamela,” ujar sang ibu.
Saat usianya menginjak 16 tahun, Pamela bertemu dengan Franco. Takut sang anak hamil lagi, sang ibu pun sempat meminta ijin pada hakim setempat untuk melakukan pemasangan alat kontrasepsi. “Ijin tersebut saya minta karena Pamela masih berusia dibawah 21 tahun,” ujarnya. Belum lagi ijin ia peroleh Pamela sudah keburu hamil lagi. Dan lagi-lagi, sang kekasih meninggalkannya begitu saja. Pamela melahirkan tiga anak kembar lagi lima hari sebelum ulang tahunnya yang ke 17. Ketiga bayi perempuan ini ia beri nama Martina, Morena dan Magali.
Pamela mengaku, meski sangat melelahkan tapi ia bahagia hidup dengan tujuh anaknya. “Banyak yang membantu saya, terutama ibu saya. Ia sangat berjasa pada saya,” ujarnya.
Selama beberapa kerabat serta tetangga bergantian membantu memberikan pakaian, makanan serta susu. Tak bisa dibayangkan, kini remaja berusia 17 tahun ini sibuk mengurusi anak-anaknya selama 24 jam penuh. Hampir tak ada waktu baginya untuk bermain dan merawat dirinya sendiri. “Saya sibuk mengurus keperluan anak-anak dari pukul 7 pagi hingga pukul 4 pagi. Setiap hari saya hanya punya waktu 2 jam untuk memejamkan mata sebentar,” ujarnya. Mungkin inilah ‘harga’ yang harus Pamela bayar untuk kecerobohannya dalam bergaul.
http://www.kaskus.us/showthread.php?t=3469595
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Links for 2.24.10: 36 Tips for Better Abs
*Recommended: Roland Lazenby writes about sex and sports (and the Lakers and Magic and Wilt) on Lakernoise. A fascinating read, and there’s even a local angle: “Hot Rod Hundley, a noted partier and ladies man, was the number one overall pick in the 1957 NBA draft, when he was selected by the Minnieapolis Lakers. Team owner Bob Short soon realized he had a real rounder on his hands. Hundley would head out to the bars almost every night to carouse and enjoy the secretaries and professional ladies of Minnesota.” [mefi]
*Fashion: The Rock Guitar Shirt is a functional guitar. OF SORTS. Careful readers may already know this, but I once learned the first three chords of Led Zeppelin’s “Tangerine” upside-down (Hendrix-style) on an 12-string guitar. [redferret]
*Words: Effing Typeface is not safe for work. It is a font of sorts. Or a typeface. I don’t know the difference and, in fact, will go to great lengths not to look it up. [mefi]
*Shirtlessness: View the entire (male) cast of “Jersey Shore” as photographed by Terry Richardson.
*Blogging: Kanye West, who was quite good at music blogging for a while there about a year ago, has started a new site. I will warn you that the first post has a mostly naked lady on it. So avoid at your own risk.
*Tips: Does anyone have any tips for better abs?
*Movies: They Shoot Pictures, Don’t They? is organizing the 1,000 greatest films of all time. Well, putting them in order. And adding contextual information. I’m sure you get it. Or will. [coudal]
*Today’s links: F.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Seorang Kungfu Master Tewas Karena Onani!!
sekarang banyak teenager amerika melakukan AEA masturbasi, caranya ada di film terbaru world greatest dad, yg maen robbin william..
http://www.slate.com/id/2219784/
David Carradine
Kung Fu bintang David Carradine telah ditemukan tewas di sebuah hotel di Bangkok hari Kamis. Polisi menemukan dia di dalam lemari dengan tali yang diikat di leher dan alat kelamin, menunjukkan bahwa ia sesak napas, ketika terlibat dalam permainan seks. Apakah ada yang aman, cara yang tepat untuk melakukan autoerotic sesak napas?
Tidak ada dokter-cara yang disetujui untuk mencekik diri sendiri saat berhubungan seks atau saat masturbasi. Memang, memotong oksigen ke otak tidak pernah merupakan ide bagus. Tetapi ada cara untuk membuat tindakan berbahaya ini sedikit lebih berbahaya: Lakukan dengan mitra terpercaya; mendirikan “safeword,” yang biasa digunakan dalam situasi perbudakan, untuk sinyal pasangan Anda untuk membiarkan Anda pergi; tidak menggunakan obat-obatan atau alkohol, yang bisa membuat ketegangan yang jauh lebih berisiko, dan, tentu saja, jangan mengikat tali sabuk atau terlalu ketat. Beberapa kematian oleh sesak napas terjadi hanya karena korban melarikan diri dibuat terlalu sulit-dalam satu kasus, seorang pria dicurangi sehingga dia akan membutuhkan pemotong baut untuk melepaskan rantai.
Autoerotic sesak napas, atau AEA, biasanya dilakukan dengan cara sebagai berikut: Seorang pria-sebagian besar adalah laki-laki-AEAers loop sabuk atau tali di lehernya, melekatkan ujung yang lain ke sebuah kenop pintu atau pipa, dan menurunkan dirinya ke dalam suspensi dikontrol. Seks atau masturbasi terjadi kemudian. Tekanan dari memotong sabuk aliran darah melalui pembuluh darah di leher, menyebabkan darah untuk berkumpul di otak. Penurunan kadar oksigen dan karbon dioksida meningkat, memproduksi ringan dan, untuk beberapa, mengintensifkan kenikmatan erotis.
Ketika kematian terjadi, biasanya karena tekanan pada leher bagian dari tubuh yang disebut carotid, sekelompok kecil chemoreceptors terletak dekat garpu dari arteri karotis. Tekanan pada tubuh karotis menyebabkan lelehan dari saraf vagus. Hal ini memperlambat jantung dan dapat membuat seseorang pingsan seketika. (Itu sebabnya karate chops dan menjepit saraf Vulcan menargetkan saraf vagus.) Kehilangan kesadaran menyebabkan orang untuk pergi lemas, yang mengencangkan dan menurunkan tersedak sirkulasi melalui arteri leher, menyebabkan sesak napas. Jarang apakah ada cukup tekanan untuk memblokir tenggorokan-agak, itu kurangnya aliran darah yang menyebabkan kematian.
Kau tak bisa menahan napas? Tentu, tapi itu tidak akan memiliki efek yang sama. Penelitian menunjukkan bahwa orang yang mempraktekkan AEA melakukannya karena risiko bermain-main dengan kematian-bukan hanya karena orgasme tanpa oksigen merasa baik. (Mayat korban AEA kadang-kadang memiliki bukti dari masokisme juga, seperti rokok luka bakar atau dimutilasi alat kelamin.)
Tercatat pertama kasus sesak napas itu autoerotic Frantisek Kotzwara, seorang komposer terkenal dari Praha yang meninggal di tahun 1791 ketika berhubungan seks dengan pelacur. (Dia diadili untuk pembunuhan dan dibebaskan.) Berpengaruh Vaughn Bode kartunis bawah tanah sesak napas sampai mati pada tahun 1975, menurut putranya. Stephen Milligan, seorang anggota Parlemen Inggris, itu ditemukan meninggal di rumahnya pada tahun 1994, telanjang kecuali untuk garter belt dan stocking perempuan, dicekik dengan kabel listrik. * Pada tahun 1997, seorang koroner yang disebut kematian penyanyi INXS Michael Hutchence bunuh diri , tapi pacarnya dan beberapa anggota keluarganya percaya bahwa ia meninggal dari AEA.
http://www.kaskus.us/showthread.php?t=3054084
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show me your teeth
If you’ve ever listened to Lady GaGa’s song ‘Teeth’, you’ll understand when I say that song is the perfect soundtrack for this entry.
Rough sex.
Oh, I love love love it.
I try not to let myself get disturbed by the fact I enjoy being man-handled and thrown around like some helpless little slut. But, of course, it’s hard not to. As I said in my first entry, I’m very open and unashamed of my sexuality. But I have to admit that sometimes I feel guilty for enjoying rough sex. And I use the term loosely because I know everyone’s definition of ‘rough’ probably differs. I’m by no means on the extreme end of that definition, nor am I on the soft side either. I guess I’d lay somewhere in the middle, where rough sex to me equals lots of hard, hard spanking, hair-pulling, slapping and strangling. Yes, strangling. No, I’m not one of those people who is into erotic asphyxiation. I just like the feel of hands circling around my throat, giving me that exhilarating threat of violence…it makes me hot just thinking about it.
More than not, I’m in the mood to be abused. I don’t want the man to ask permission to do things.
‘Is this okay?’
‘Do you want me to do this or that?’
Blah Blah BLAH.
Stop talking and just fuck me already.
Don’t be a bitch. I offered myself to you, so take it. Take what’s yours and fuck me like a man should fuck a woman. Use me. Grab me by the wrists and throw me down, digging me into the mattress so hard I can barely breath or scream. Rip my clothes off. Spank my ass so hard that the red hand mark left behind feels warm and sore for hours. Or use a belt, remind me how naughty I am. Bite my nipples. Tug on my hair until I’m crying out in half-pleasure, half-pain. Don’t make any apologies. Sometimes, I want you to just skip the foreplay and shamelessly ram yourself into me while I’m still tight and unprepared. I’m shocked and unready, whimpering because it feels fucking amazing to be filled but so incredibly tight, too tight. Dig your fingers into my flesh; my arms, my thighs, my ass. Spread my legs wide and just thrust into me with wild abandon.
I don’t mean to offend anyone when I state the obvious and say it’s safe to assume from the above that I love a good rape fantasy. And according to research, I’m not alone. Some studies have found up to 50% or more of women have at least occasionally had ‘rape fantasies’. The experts state there are a variety of reasons women tend to have rape fantasies– we enjoy being ‘irresistible’, fear is an aphrodisiac, or even the good old ‘guilt avoidance’ theory, to name a few. Honestly, I don’t have any desire to delve into my brain to hypothesize and scrutinize why I enjoy these things. I just do.
So back to the guilt. That tiny little voice in my head that’s always whispering….“Why do you like this? You are so naughty. You bad, bad, dirty little whore…”
Maybe that voice has a point. I am a naughty girl.
Who’d like to spank me?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Living the Dream?
It’s a common male fantasy to be dating or married to a porn star. It just is. In the minds of most men this will equal sex on tap with a gorgeous and constantly horny wife who brings home one of her co-workers at least once a week so they can re-enact one fantasy or another. The reality seems to be rather different.
I was sent this article by a reader that details the issues between three couples were the female (obviously) is a porn star. The first relationship profiled is between Ryder Sky and her husband, Bill (you couldn’t make this up), is most interesting for our purposes. Bill has clearly become so emasculated by Ryder that I’m surprised it’s a “handblown glass dildo artfully displayed on their coffee table” rather than his testicles in a jar that is on show in their living room.
Firstly – just look at the poor bastard.
King of the Betas?
I realise that this is a staged “publicity” photograph for the article, but you can tell a lot from how the photographer chose to arrange them. He’s forlorn, laying backwards while his wife dominates on top of him. There’s no doubt about who is the dominant partner in this relationship. And that’s before we get into the hand placement. She’s guarding them - “this is mine”.
Reading the article through, Bill is potentially the most broken man in all of America. The article opens by telling us about their three year anniversary, about how they kept it “simple” (read: dull and no sex) by ordering pizza. It only gets worse:
It’s only when Bill thinks too hard about what his wife’s been doing in the year since she quit her job as an executive assistant to become a full-time porn star that things get difficult. Occasionally, he can’t keep from mulling over the fact that he’s home alone while she’s getting it on with another man. “Sometimes I think about it when she works late and I’m going to bed,” he says. “It’s not negative, though. It’s more like, eh . . . ” He trails off with a what-can-you-do groan.
Now, most of the cheating wives that I know do it secretly, with a little bit of shame at cuckolding their loving husbands. Ryder chose a profession, after she was married, where she’d be fucking other guys every day. Yet, of course, Bill stands by her and does his best not to think about it. Of course he does. He loves her. Or loved her, at least. Still, at least he gets to have sex with a porn star on a regular basis. That’s got to be fun. They probably do all kinds of kinky shit, and I bet she’s bringing her work home with her all the time.
And then there’s the fact that you don’t even get to have sex with her all that often—intercourse is off-limits before a shoot, and afterward she’s too tired and sore. Bill describes his sex life with Sky as vanilla; “We schedule sex,” he says.
Oh. Still at least she’s respectful of their relationship. You know, proudly proclaiming that she’s married and better than all the other cum dumpsters in porn. She’s not a career girl, but a family woman who happens to have sex for money. Guess again:
[What] bothers him [is] his wife’s habitually telling colleagues she’s “in a relationship” rather than married. “She hardly ever wears her wedding ring, even off-set,” Bill says. “Why be ashamed of being married?” Sky insists that it’s not a matter of shame. “I don’t want to get typecast as a MILF,” she says.
This couldn’t get any worse, until you read that Bill goes on porn websites to give positive reviews of his wife’s work. Or until you learn that she’s majoring in women’s studies.
Bill’s final thoughts sum up the mindset of betas everywhere. That the (self proclaimed) “vanilla” sex she has with him is better than the hard fucking she gets on set because:
“I don’t look at it as sex,” he says. “I look at it as a guy with his dick in my wife, but they’re working and it’s not emotional. She never orgasms in porn. That’s for us. If it happened on the set, it would be a little weird.”
Finally – his cry is the cry of betas everywhere. Bless them.
“I want her to be happy”
The evolved mind
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cuppini/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
[This is post is a reflection on Robert Wright's book The Moral Animal]
I.
Evolutionary psychology reveals that within us there are subterranean forces at work. Undetectable to the untrained eye, they have their own tectonic, inexorable logic. They are at work in animals and savages, too, for we are all, ultimately, the products of natural selection. We all cope with certain biological realities, most especially the fact that the burdens of child-bearing fall disproportionately on the female of the species. And we have all been equipped, if rather haphazardly, to seek our own reproductive advantage. We simply would not be here if we weren’t.
Beginning in the 1960s, a group of scientists led by George Williams, William Hamilton, and Robert Trivers began to show how complex social behaviors, including those of humans, might arise from the relatively simple imperatives of sex and survival. Just as complex behaviors and institutions might arise from the simple, short-sighted drives of economic actors—via the proverbial invisible hand—they might also arise from the simple, short-sighted drives of biological actors. The incentive is wealth in the one case, healthy offspring in the other.
We can now, it seems, explain such facts as these:
- That step-children are more likely to be abused than biological children. (Since they won’t pass on your genes, there is simply less evolutionary incentive to treat them well.)
- That men value sexual more than emotional fidelity, and vice versa for women. (Men can father children with many women concurrently, so their investment of parental affection is far more valuable than their sperm. But by the same token, men need to know that their parental affection is invested in their own offspring.)
- That men are, at least in a certain way, generally more ambitious than women, and less willing to apologize or show weakness in front of peers–this is the old chestnut about men refusing to ask for directions. (They are programmed to compete with other males for relatively scarce females.)
- That parents find the death of an adolescent more painful to imagine than the death of either an infant or full-grown child. (The adolescent is the doorstep of sexual maturity and so has more potentially productive years ahead of himself than the adult child, and since he is closer to fruition than the infant, more time and energy have been sunk into him.)
- That women looking for a mate are often coy. (Her children will benefit from a father who will stick around.)
- That sons tend to be more valued in high-status families, daughters in low-status families. (A high-status son can father many more offspring than a high-status daughter can conceivably birth. But low-status sons will need to compete with their high-status peers, who will claim more than their fair share of women. So it’s the low status daughters who stand a better chance of reproducing.)
The basic Darwinian framework is thus far more powerful than previously thought. It extends beyond our baser lusts for food and sex, to more elevated sentiments.
But what, really, are we to make of all this? That we are each more mercenary and self-interested than we let on? That we are, in effect, sleepwalking toward goals we are not even consciously aware of? Or that we are not really in control of our behavior, just along for the ride, hitched to our overeager gonads? Or that we are in control after all, but it’s just the lowdown, conniving part that’s in charge?
Some 150 years after Darwin’s The Descent of Man, we still don’t have any very good ways of grappling with our evolutionary history. It’s not that the science is somehow conceptually incoherent, as that we have yet to really wrap our animal minds around it. The failing is in us, not the theory. Science has a way of running ahead of us—look, for example, at quantum mechanics and general relativity. Increasingly, the best, most polished theories are too slippery for us to hold barehanded.
It’s tempting, then, to retrofit familiar concepts: you fall back on what you know. Intelligent design is out of the question of course, but perhaps the way to think about natural selection is as a designer, just a blind, brutish, slow working, and slightly ham-fisted one. You could also adapt the Freudian idiom and speak of a second, unconscious mind toiling away under the conscious one. Even if I’m not consciously sizing up every woman I meet as a sex partner, my biological unconscious is.
Either way, though, these are imperfect metaphors. You’re going to end up using a lot of quotation marks. You’re going to speak of natural selection ‘designing’ things of it ‘wanting’ us to reproduce. You’re going to speak of this second Darwinian mind ‘thinking’ and ‘desiring.’ As an example, consider this quote from Robert Wright:
If there’s one thing natural selection ‘wants’ us to believe, it’s that our individual happiness is special. This is the basic gyroscope it has built into us; by pursuing goals that promise to make us happy, we will maximize the proliferation of our genes (or, at least, would have stood a good chance of doing that in the ancestral environment).
But these quotation marks are just reminders that it’s not really ‘design’, that there isn’t literally a second mind in each us that ‘wants’ us to do things, but rather….something else, something like design and desire, but not.
At worst their worst, these metaphors can create new confusions and perpetuate old ones. We risk importing features of our retrofitted concepts into places they don’t belong. Throughout human history we have invested the designs of various divine creators with special, often mystical significance. With our vestigial language of design and creation, we risk doing the same again, just with a new, decidedly less mystical creator. Evolutionary psychology may in some sense reveal our hidden selves, but are those hidden selves the truer selves?
II.
Much of evolutionary psychology is probably not really about evolution at all, at least not in any special sense. No doubt we are all more self-interested than we let on, but it doesn’t take Darwinian theory to see this. It doesn’t take a theory at all, just an unflinching eye and an open mind. You simply have to realize that self-interest is a cunning, subtle thing that yes, sometimes overpowers our more disinterested sentiments but also shapes and shades them in more delicate ways. This is less a scientific discovery than a piece of folk wisdom.
We need to tread carefully here—there’s a major pitfall nearby. Though self-interest works through subtler channels than just mercenary calculation and blind lust, you might nevertheless shut your eyes to this and insist that mercenary calculation and blind lust are omnipresent after all, just below the surface, in some mysterious unconscious mind, the one ‘designed’ by natural selection.
Now there may be some deeper mind, but if there is you haven’t found it yet. At most you’ve discovered that the mind as we already know it is more complex than you once thought. This is still just psychology, not yet evolutionary psychology.
Things get evolutionary only when we start to trace the biological story of how our psychology got here. It’s with this task evolutionary psychology has been so helpful. How did we come to take such a powerful interest in the well-being of our children? How did we come to place such a high premium on friendship and loyalty to family? Well, to sum up a millennia-long story with a cast of millions, all these traits turned out to pay significant reproductive dividends.
So evolutionary psychology does two things, one psychological, one evolutionary. It helps illuminate certain easily overlooked aspects of our psychology, and it also tells a story about how that psychology got selected, about why it’s still around today.
But there’s another pitfall here, namely the thought that there’s some essential connection between the psychological insights and the evolutionary story. This is the thought that the evolutionary story reveals our emotional and mental habits for what they really are—tools for propagating our genes—and that the psychological insights flow from this core revelation. We are, on the psychological level, so self-interested precisely because natural selection works by selecting those traits which tend to maximize our self-interest. In being psychologically self-interested we are simply doing what natural selection tells us to.
This is a mistake because it combines two things that are really separate: what we might call, respectively, psychological and evolutionary self-interest. True, our psychological makeup has been selected by nature because it confers reproductive advantage. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that self-interest is a privileged feature of our psychology. Indeed, there are creatures, like ants and naked mole rats, who, to the extent that they have psychologies at all, seem to show no special concern for themselves. And yet we now know that this is all to their evolutionary advantage: altruism, like reproduction itself, can help others like you (i.e. your siblings and/or children) survive and propagate even if you don’t. It’s not so hard to imagine that if our reproductive biology had been different, closer to that of naked mole rats, natural selection might have made us into thoroughgoing altruists completely stripped of our psychological self-interest. Psychological and evolutionary self-interest are simply two different things.
Of course, this is not to deny that we are in fact highly self-interested and that natural selection has helped make us this way. Rather: first, natural selection has also produced our non-self-interested tendencies, and, second, no matter how self-interested we turn out to be, natural selection gives it no special aura. In no way does it make selfishness into a virtue.
We often think it does, though, when we let our metaphors run wild. We throw out the old, intelligent designer, but we simply put natural selection its place. Where we once bowed before the designs of an intelligent creator, we bow before the designs of a blind one. We think that if were designed to be self-interested then surely in some sense we ought to be self-interested. The problem, of course, is less with the identity of the creator than with the bowing to its intentions. Relatedly, we think that our self-interested impulses bubble up from some deeper, truer mind, the mind that has been built into us by natural selection. We think that when we feel self-interested not only are we furthering our survival, we are plugging in to the mind of Nature herself: what we want for ourselves she wants for us. But of course natural selection doesn’t really have a mind of its own; none of our thoughts, noble or base, has any special connection to its thoughts.
III.
How, then, does evolutionary psychology produce such important psychological insights if it doesn’t in some fundamental sense tell us what we are? Well, not all our insights are simply dictated to us by a theory. Thinking of ourselves from an evolutionary standpoint probably works a little like a cup of strong coffee or a splash of cold water to the face: it braces us, makes us sit up straight, clears away some of the mental cobwebs. It doesn’t produce the psychological insights directly, it simply clears space for them.
And in most of us space needs to be cleared. We cling to illusions as if by instinct. The evolutionary standpoint frees us to see with new eyes, at least temporarily. We have a tendency to go extremes, and the evolutionary standpoint helps to rein this in. For example, we fall into the trap of thinking that we are either blank slates or creatures of instinct, either blissed-out natural children or born schemers, either wholly Righteous or wholly Base. Evolutionary psychology helps puncture these simple pieties. And it can do this even it leads us into new illusions and excesses. Indeed, sometimes delusions are best fought with other delusions. Two errors don’t add up to a truth, but in the right conditions they can get you closer.
IV.
The big, hysteria-inducing problem with Darwinism is that it seems to debunk truth and morality. They become fundamentally nothing more than tools for acquiring food, sex, and status. We have perhaps learned to live with this problem but we haven’t really solved it. However, it will almost certainly help to give up the mistaken thought that our evolutionary origins tell us anything very deep about the essential nature of our hearts and minds.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Bed crumbs of all ages spiled
My Bed is Covered Yellow
Peter Orlovsky
My bed is covered yellow – Oh Sun, I sit on you
Oh golden field I lay on you
Oh money I dream of you
More, More, cried the bed – talk to me more -
Oh bed that taked the weight of the world -
all the lost dreams laid on you
Oh bed that grows no hair, that cannot be fucked
or can be fucked
Oh bed crumbs of all ages spiled on you
Oh yellow bed march to the sun whear yr journey will be done
Oh 50 lbs. of bed that takes 400 more lbs-
how strong you are
Oh bed, only for man & not for animals
yellow bed when will the animals have equal rights?
Oh 4 legged bed off the floor forever built
Oh yellow bed all the news of the world
lay on you at one time or another
1957, Paris
Chapters 6 to 14 Have been posted - The Munroe Mansion - Linda Randall
I spent a few hours yesterday proof reading Chapters 6 to 14.
Now you need to know something.
In chapters 13 there are some graphic sex scenes.
The character is sexual – Lorraine Picard and she’s always experimenting with different people both male and female.
It was a secret back in the early 1900s, a woman could not openly do what she was doing.
But I had some fun with this part of the book, being as creative as possible.
Because the munroe series is about social issues and the theory of six degrees of separation, I’ve tried to keep it as true to life as possible.
How would one feel in that moment?
Would people judge her because of her sexual appetite?
She’s an aspiring social cat, and the man she intends to seduce has an aversion to loose women.
If she doesn’t marry soon, she will end up living out on the streets along with her younger sister.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
1) Myself.
Sunt curioasa cum ai reactiona daca ai sti adevarul despre mine. Sunt curioasa daca ai ramane sa imi asculti povestea pana la sfarsit.
Stii, ma gandeam sa te invit la un ceai si sa ma confesez.
Sa iti descriu in detaliu toate noptile in care mi’am daruit cele mai lungi orgasme. Si diminetile in care ma trezeam cuprinsa de un chef nebun de a face sex.
M-ai judeca daca ai afla ca imi dau drumul cu gandul la tine? As da orice sa iti vad expresia fetei cand ti’as spune ca ultimele 20 de filme vizionate se inscriu in categoria xxx’ed. Poti sa imi numesti pasiunile fetish’uri. Si invers. Si poti sa ma cataloghezi. Cu toate astea …
Te’ai speria cand te’as pune sa imi testezi limitele si sa ma ajuti sa le depasesc? Ai fugi de o femeie care are mai multe fantezii sexuale decat toti prietenii tai la un loc? Care stie pe de rost drumul spre orgasmul tau? Care te vrea oricand, oriunde, oricum?
Ce parere iti fac cand las privirirea in pamant si recunosc cu nonsalanta ca in loc sa scriu eseuri pentru facultate am recitit pentru a nu stiu cata oara: “Povestea lui O” ? Sau cand afli ca prefer sa termin “Istoria sexualitatii” in loc sa te termin pe tine?
Sunt si mai curioasa in ceea ce priveste generozitatea ta. M-ai imparti cu cel mai bun prieten sau doleanta mea ar fi un motiv bun de cearta?
Ai reusi sa stai deoparte cand o alta femeie ar fi deasupra mea?
Mi’ai sterge cu o palma zambetul de dupa orgasm, stiind ca vor urma altele si altele? Mi’ai sopti cat de mult iti place tot ce fac daca ar fi ultima noastra noapte? Probabil ca nu, probabil ca o femeie care cere mereu mai mult, mai tare, mai adanc, mai dur nu e tocmai ceea ce iti doresti. Ai folosi’o pentru o ora, o noapte, o saptamana. Ar fi sclava pe ai carei sani ai scuipa, dominatoarea care ti’ar lasa semne pe suflet, femeia care ti’ar indeplini fanteziile. Atat.
365 Nights: Book Review
Whenever I’ve said to a married woman that I’ve been reading a book about a woman who, for her husband’s 40th birthday, gives him sex every day for a year, almost every one has said, “Don’t tell my husband about that!” Most say it lightheartedly, others with a degree of panic in their eyes, but whatever the motivation, 365 Nights has sparked their interest. (Thanks to Wendy for the recommendation.)
The first thing to say is that this is not a book about sex, really. There are no accounts of what they did, where they did it, how good it was, etc. In fact, the author prefers the term ‘intimacy’ to sex. And that’s where the emphasis of the whole book is – on the couple’s relationship, rather than on sexual technique.
In 365 Nights, Charla Muller, husband of Brad, working mother of 2, takes each month and the lessons she learns from having more sex with her husband and how that impacts on topics such as:
- sharing the housework
- their closeness
- her body image
- her self-esteem
- how they view holidays and special occasions
Despite the month-by-month lessons, the book’s not particularly well structured. Arthur took one look at it and said, “It’s too chatty. You can read it and give me the summary.” So Charla jumps off into reflections about families of origin, decorating the house for Christmas, her experiences with depression, etc. Which is why I say that the book is more about their relationship than about sex.
The thing that I found most helpful was Charla’s reflections on why she didn’t want to have sex with her husband. She realised that the only person she was saying ‘no’ to was her husband! Everyone knows when you’re not teaching Sunday school or baking or doing a thousand other things and others’ expectations can be hard to deal with. But no one knows if you’re taking the time to connect and be intimate with your spouse, so because it’s unseen by most, it goes on the back burner. Charla makes the point that many women agree that sex in a marriage is a good idea, but because they are doing so many other things, there is simply no time or energy for it. So it’s a matter of choosing to the make the non-urgent, unseen relationship the priority over the pressing, public tasks.
I’d recommend this book for married women and I think that those with children will identify most with the author. But whatever your life stage, there is one big take home message: have more sex! (I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that somewhere before!) Even if it has to be scheduled; even if it’s not luxuriously long and romantic. Do it for your husband and do it because it’s about intimacy in your relationship. And be surprised by the benefits! Of course, the big question is: more sex might be OK, but is sex EVERY DAY sustainable? I’ll let you read it and find out!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Bring on the Men!!!
As you probably know iTunes can be a pain when you have it on shuffle depending on your mind-set and totally screw you over by the order which songs come on in. But every now and then it works out to be a god send and plays a song to help you get out of an awful mood or a bad way you are feeling. Recently this has been no songs talking about love which I have very much skipped over at times. You then get a song which gives you hope and a new lease of life (maybe only until the next song clicks on it was one of them that remind you of someone you don’t want to think about). But for the time that song is on it works. Recently I even decided that creating a playlist of those type of songs would be a good idea (I still havent got round to that yet . . . )
Anyway yesterday the song that done that for me was “Bring on the Men” by Linda Eder from the Musical Jekyll and Hyde. Which I then listened to about 10 times in a row, it helped I decided it was going to be the new theme song to my life . . . yes I was just trying to fool myself more than anything but it did work for about half an hour. It’s actually quite a funny song as well as being a little slutty. But why shouldn’t women say bring on the men! Possibly because we will fall for whatever bullshit they decide to throw at us and become weak again . . . yeah thats probably why women could never truly be like men. Even the whole let’s have sex like a man never really seems to work. Some of the lyrics from this song “They break your heart they steal your soul take you apart and yet they somehow make you whole so whats their game” pretty much sums it all up. They do break your heart most of the time when you least expect it!
It’s another old cliché of can’t live with them, can’t live without them but they do drive you mad. I am too bitter at the moment to give them any credit and say they don’t realise what they do to us, as of course they do they just think that if they walk away or go away the hurt and pain will too. Erm no it really is not that simple! Don’t we all wish were Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) from Sex and the City, she really seems to have it made . . . but then again she did have a couple of downfalls as well when it came to men . . . so erm bring them on? Maybe?!?!
Bring on the Men Lyrics
There was a time
I don’t know when
I didn’t have much time for men
but this is now and that was then, I’m learningheart of stone
So I try not to make it known my yearning
I try to show I have no need
I really do, I don’t succeed always knew, I always said
a silk and lace in black and red
will drive a man right off his head, its easy
A girl alone, all on her own
must try to have a
so lets bring..on the men
and let the fun begin
a little touch of sin
why wait another minute
step this way its time for us to play
they say we may not pass this way again
so lets waste no more time
Bring on the men
I
So many men, so little time
I want them all, is that a crime (NO!)
I dont know why they say that I’m too easy
They make me laugh, they make me cry
they make me sick, so god knows why
we say bring on the men
and let the fun begin
a little touch of sin
why wait another minute
step this way its time for us to play
they say we may not pass this way again
so lets waste no more time
bring on the men
They break your heart
they steal your soul
take you apart
and yet they somehow make you whole
so whats their game
I suppose a rose by any other name
the perfume and the pricks the same
I like to have a man for breakfast each day
I’m very social and I like it that way
by late mid-morning I need something to munch
so I ask over 2 men for lunch
And men are mad about my afternoon
Otero University and student professor sex
As has been clearly demonstrated over the last few days, violence is no stranger to university campuses. Although it is more frequently violence by students toward other students and toward faculty, faculty to faculty violence is not unknown as was clearly demonstrated at the University of Alabama at Huntsville. We also find there to be faculty violence toward students as recently occurred at Otago University in New Zealand where student Sophie Elliot was murdered by lecturer Clayton Weathersome.
What makes the Otago U tragic murder different is that some people have come up with a way to prevent such violence. They say the way to do this is to have stringent measures taken against faculty who become sexually involved with a student. You see the Elliot/Weathersome affair and then murder was a student/prof affair.
Otago University has under taken a review of rules on staff-student romances, a review which was sparked by the brutal murder. Persons, both inside and outside of the university, have been encouraged to make submissions on the issue. Elliott’s mother Lesley said she wanted vulnerable students who entered into relationships with university academics to be supervised and counseled, and for the academics involved to immediately resign.
The reaction of the mother of the murdered student is understandable, but unfortunately all too often emotion carries the day when it comes to draconian measures enacted in the attempt to control violence, particularly sexual violence.
To view student professor intimate relationships as somehow intrinsically fostering violence is outrageous. 99.999 percent of such relationships do not lead to lethal violence. If one was going to focus on relationships that are more likely to lead to violence and lethal violence, such would be student/student relationships. And, of course, when it comes to campus violence and violence in general, alcohol consumption should be a major area of concern.
The mother stated-
“I feel something should be in the employment contract of staff to the effect that if a relationship develops, they are obliged to resign. We think this policy also needs to be highlighted to students… If students knew a person would have to resign, they may have second thoughts about going out with staff.”
Now it is this last line that irks the dankprofessor. No student should have second thoughts about going out with a staff member because of this one tragic case. And, of course, if this sort of thinking is taken seriously, then any person, student or non-student, would have concerns about going out with a lecturer because of the violence implication.
Now I know that some will say I am overreacting to the ramblings of a distraught mother. Unfortunately, such is often how universities end up imposing stringent controls on student professor relationships. People become distraught and want immediate action, and universities respond by not dealing with violence or coercion or sexual harassment but rather by demeaning those who are involved in consensual relationships.
Let us hope that Otago University does not go in the aforementioned direction. What student professor couples want is what most other couples want and that is to be left alone as they pursue their mutual romantic goals. To consider these couples as sort of criminal couples is not only absurd but is also criminal.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Virginity.
It’s hard to decide whether I should be flattered or insulted by the circulating controversy of my virginity.
Yes, believe what you may in this day and age, I am in fact a virgin.
If you know me, or have seen me, I guess there are logical reasons as to why people are so skeptical.
But still. Why would I lie about it? Especially in times like which we live in.
Hardly no one is. So me not being one wouldn’t be a surprise, or really looked down upon.
Therefore, I would gain nothing in saying I was a virgin, if in fact I wasn’t.
But what makes me laugh is when people ask me WHY I am.
It’s hard to explain.
A lot of people assume I’m either afraid, waiting for marriage, or just one of those weird girls who wants it to be
perfect and precise and how she’s always dreamed it would be.
It’s none of those. Maybe a hint of fear but that’s normal.
The real reason is this.
What’s the point, or rush?
What am I going to gain from it? And why does it matter when I do it?
I have never even been in a situation where it would be possible to.
Nor have I had a person who I’d feel even remotely comfortable with, or could imagine myself even wanting to lose it to.
Well there was one but we’re not talking about him ahaha.
Anyway, so there are a number of reasons.
I’m not saying that I don’t want to, or that I haven’t thought about it,
but when I really actually think think about it,
I’m just like…..okay well what’s the point?
When it happens, it happens.
That’s all I have to say for now.
give me a genius grant
“The MacArthur Fellows Program or MacArthur Fellowship (nicknamed the Genius Award) is an award given by the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation each year to typically 20 to 40 United States citizens or residents, of any age and working in any field, who “show exceptional merit and promise for continued and enhanced creative work.” According to the Foundation’s website, ‘the fellowship is not a reward for past accomplishment, but rather an investment in a person’s originality, insight, and potential.’ The current amount of the award is $500,000, paid as quarterly installments over five years. As of 2007[update], there have been 756 recipients who have received a total of more than $350 million. The Fellowship has no application. People are nominated anonymously by a body of nominators who submit recommendations to a small selection committee of about a dozen people, also anonymous. The committee then reviews every nominee and passes along their recommendations to the President and the board of directors. Most new MacArthur Fellows first learn that they have even been considered when they receive the congratulatory phone call.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacArthur_Fellows_Program
I’m currently working on a book about the Meaning of Life and have more ideas for future projects than I have time to write. I’ve filled about 20 notebooks and counting with ideas and observations that I haven’t made public. Whether you agree with my ideas or not, there’s no denying the theme of my work. I’m trying to make sense of this great big, mysterious world in a systematic, logical and as empirically valid (when applicable) way. Some of my ideas may need work, but I can’t improve or correct them unless I have time to. My life’s work would benefit tremendously by a grant that would allow me to focus on my passion for writing full time. As it stands I work a customer service job that takes up most of my time and energy. If I could run a secular monastery I could help countless other aspiring intellectuals fulfill their potential, and I could better focus my free time on other projects such as finishing my meaning of life book and starting a series comic based on An Old Man From Jersey and the naïve neighborhood kid. I could produce more blogs at a higher quality, and I could potentially even offer classes on logic and storytelling at the monastery. OH, and I could put together a decent website.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
sex in the city, or lack there of.
I have made a promise to myself, and it is working so far. I promised myself a few months ago, that I would refrain from sexual relations with anyone who was not my boyfriend. Being single, this has become a bit of task. I seem to have a 5 month threshold. I have never gone more than five months without sex since my first experience when I was 18. It has been almost four months and I am… feeling the pinch.
I am in a daily battle, I am stuck between my principles and my sexual urges. Each day I consider phoning the one person I shouldn’t, and degrade myself by telling him “yes, I am available”, when I am completely and utterly not. It is simply my raging hormones and love of sex taking over every aspect of my life, and it is frustrating to say the least.
I recently told an ex to get out of my and never to even attempt to worm his way back in. He was a cold character, a heartless, immoral scum bag, and he responded to my tearful flood of emotions and desperation: “Call me if you ever want sex” How disgusting. however I must confess that I do consider, or at least have been for the past week, taking him up on this, getting what I want, or more to the point what I need. But at the moment I am strong enough to realise that it would be the worst thing in the world for me to do. To let him have that power over me, even if I need it, would be degrading and shameful. I don’t think I could live with myself if I had sex with him again, but honestly, I think it would be a very satisfying thing to do. I could have sex with him, and get rid of the frustration that is hindering my daily routine, and move on. Is this the reality though? Would it not just make me fall in love all over again? I can easily say that yes, I have finally fallen out of love with someone who took over every fibre of my being for so long. I am not in love with him anymore!! If I could shout it all over the city I would. But I would like to give in just one more time. One passionate, steamy, no-holds-barred time. What am I going to do when I get to the usual madness time of five months? Daily, I slip into fantasies, no matter where I am, at home, on the city bus, in work, these fantasies take over my body and I get lost in them. The frustration almost brought me to tears last night as I sat on the bus and uncontrollably imagined him holding my body tight and sinking his teeth into my quivering skin as I whisper his name and my lips caress his shoulders. I don’t want him. I want his body and his knowledge of mine.
I am a woman, I have needs, but I also have virtues. Everything in life is a contradiction.
Digital Arts Cover - Michael Creagh
It should be no surprise that when you shoot every day, like I do, that you miss stuff. But missing a magazine cover!? The Digital Arts cover is back from March of 2008. I probably heard something about it and just forgot it was coming out. I don’t own a copy! At least, I remember the shoot vividly. I shot it in collaboration with the cool graphic illustrators Vault49 (http://vault49.com) and originally the photo series showed as part of a different series. However, Digital Arts Magazine was doing a feature story on Vault49’s work and I guess it was re-run. The model is the hot Taylor Warren. She is an amazing model you have seen in countless magazines. I have photographed her several times and did some of her first shots when she was 14. The most notable shoot with Taylor was for the MTV show “How To Live Like a Model” (you can see the video in the video section on my website; http://michaelcreagh.com).
You have seen lots of Vault49 and my collaborations on this blog:
3D cutouts with some behind the scene shots
http://michaelcreagh.wordpress.com/2009/11/28/graphic-illustration-project-with-vault49/
More Taylor Warren with Vault
http://michaelcreagh.wordpress.com/2009/09/09/exciting-things-on-the-horizon/
Judith Bedard for the Susana Monaco Catalog with Vault49
http://michaelcreagh.wordpress.com/2009/12/29/judith-bedard-just-reminds-me-of-christmas/
Fashion Superstar Mina Cvetkovic illustrated
http://michaelcreagh.wordpress.com/2008/11/01/vault49-graphic-illustrations-with-photos-by-michael-creagh/
Thanks!
Michael Creagh
.
Buy my Book!
http://www.blurb.com/books/455779
http://highartweddingphotography.com
Check back at http://michaelcreagh.wordpress.com as I update it weekly.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
'Rent' a partner during Chinese New Year
Single people in China have come up with an innovative way of pleasing their pushy parents during the annual Chinese New Year holiday – they are renting fake dates.
Advertisements posted by people seeking to pay young men or women to come home with them for Spring Festival are scattered all over popular Web portals.
“For 500 yuan ($104) a day, you don’t have to sleep with me, I can sleep on the floor in the same room, but you have to be a good actress,” one man said yesterday on baidu.com, under the heading “Looking to rent a girlfriend”.
A lot of 20-something Chinese have no siblings due to the nation’s one-child policy, and many come under heavy pressure to marry in their late 20s. “My parents are pushing too hard,” said a posting under the title “desperately looking for a girlfriend to go home with me for Chinese New Year”.
It added: “I’m searching for a girl around 23 years old (and not more than two years below or above that), 160 to 175 centimetres high, average looking is OK”.
Other people have posted advertisements offering their services to accompany desperate singletons home.
According to the state-run Global Times, a female student at the prestigious Peking University offered in a posting 10,000 yuan a day to rent a date. She said in her posting that her parents had told her to bring a man home or “you can forget about coming home for the holiday”.
bron: www.todayonline.com, AFP
Everyones fav topic...sex
The topic of sex is such common things to us no that people forget their morals. I believe it doesn’t matter who you have sex with or when in the relationship you do. As long as you love that person and you have complete trust in them go for it…But make sure your both ready. Talk to them about it before it happens. Well not right before but you get my drift. You don’t want to make a mistake but at the same time you want to share a special moment with your significant other. I myself have not had sex yet. But I do know how hard it is to stop at sometimes. If you really don’t want to then don’t give in but if you do, make sure you’re ready: )
Type for always,
Kamla<3
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
A Comprehensive Guideline to Control Unplanned Climax
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Penis size is a very sensitive subject for men. If you have a penis size problem, you are probably asking yourself how to increase your penis size. Most men on the other hand, prefer bigger penis size for a lot of reasons. Most men feel that they are more masculine and sexy with bigger penis, plus they do not have to be embarrassed in the locker room or shower room. Men also have full confidence that they can satisfy any woman during sexual intercourse with a larger penis.
It takes some time so don't give up. Result may be very for different people, some people can get quick results compare to others.
The use of this method is very uncomfortable, as you need to put the tube over your genitalia and pump the air out of the tube. It is not recommended to use daily and misuse could result to swelling or serious injury to your penis. There is also a risk of improper blood circulation in your penis. Of course if you feel any discomfort, you need to seek a doctor’s advice.
Learning how to enhance penis size naturally will help you boost your confidence especially during lovemaking. A bigger penis will give you and your partner the satisfaction you both need and desire. But of course before taking the step to enhance your penis, you have to make sure about your health condition and talk to your doctor.
There are several methods recommended to increase penis size and surprise, surprise, none of them work. Here are 4 examples.
1. Stretching, and squeezing – sometimes known as jelquing. These are exercises that are supposed to be performed each day for an indefinite period of time.
Although they appear safer than other methods, they can lead to severe scar formation, and disfigurement.
The only result gained is a soft penis that has a somewhat larger appearance. This method has no affect on the erect penis.
2. Vacuum pumps and other device
So for tonight, use the temporary recommendations but if you ever absolutely prefer to enhance your scenario and put an end to ways to delay ejaculation, be organized to do the job on it to the prolonged haul but trust me, it will be effectively worth it!
"Mio fratello è figlio unico"
“My Brother Is an Only Child,” is an Italian film that is directed by Daniele Luchetti. Netflix has it with subtitles, I found it to be a pretty cool flick. Of course the two lead men being easy on the eyes didn’t hurt. There are some lovely females throughout the film as well for all of the guys reading. It gives a feel for the social and political scene of Italy during some of its rough years of upheaval in the 1960’s. It focuses in on the dynamic between two brothers and their opposing belief systems but also includes love, sex, pain, and family relations in the scope as well. I enjoy how rich personalities are endorsed in certain cultures. I also enjoy how much room these cultures give to movement and expression of cooking, life, dance, sport, art, politics, family and passion.
In the spirit of Italy, one of the greats:
“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.”
Leonardo da Vinci – Italian draftsman, Painter, Sculptor, Architect and Engineer whose genius epitomized the Renaissance humanist ideal, 1452-1519
Sunday, February 7, 2010
She lives in a mixed family home – should she wear the niqaab all day?
My husband and I live in one house with his family, which is composed of one brother and his mother. Because we do not have a servant, the women usually serve the household, which involves hard work sometimes, and that means that the woman needs to reduce her hijab and wear regular house clothes.
The problem here is that the door of the house is always open, and there is nothing to stop one of the husband’s relatives, such as his paternal uncle or maternal uncle, coming in without permission. Moreover, when we clean the balcony, the neighbours and everyone in the street can see us. Is it correct for us to wear the niqaab only when going out, or should we wear it in the house from morning until evening, knowing that this will cause a great deal of hardship for us?
Please note that we have our own apartment, but we only go there to sleep.
Please note that this is not only my problem; it is faced by many of the woman who want to wear shar’i hijab, the niqaab.
What should we do?
Please advise us, may Allaah reward you
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
This problem, as you say, is not only your problem, rather it is a problem that comes up over and over again in countries where the society allows mixed living, where a man stays with his family after he gets married, which means that the wife is living in the same house as her husband’s relatives, his brothers or his nephews, and so on.
Whilst we agree with you that this situation leads to a lot of hardship and problems, and that adhering to hijab and proper Islamic etiquette in the face of this mixing involves a great deal of hardship and difficulty, we also say to you that many Muslim woman who are keen to observe hijab and to adhere to the limits set by their Lord, have managed to overcome this difficult situation and have adhered to the limits set by Allaah, despite the hardship that they faced and of which we are also aware.
If this difficult situation with shared living space is one from which there is no way out for the foreseeable future, as is the case in many situations, then you can live with it by keeping the door of the house locked from the inside, so that you can cover yourself and put on your hijab when any non-mahram men want to enter, or wearing proper hijab when they are in the house, and making sure that you are not with them in the same room or enclosed space as much as possible, even when you are wearing hijab.
Your husband also has an important role to play with regard to this problem. He should advise his brother, and his male relatives in general, to observe this etiquette, as it is one of the limits set by Allaah, and we have no right to transgress it, and it is not permissible for anyone to toy with it.
There is a warning against being lenient with regard to the husband’s relatives entering upon his wife, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” One of the Ansaar said: O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think about the in-law? He said: “The in-law is death.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5232) and Muslim (2172). Al-Layth ibn Sa’d said: The in-law is the brother of the husband and similar relatives of the husband, his cousins etc.
Although we agree that it will be difficult to do at first, because many people love to go against the rulings and are reluctant to adhere to the limits and proper etiquette, we assure you that it will soon become a habit and something that they get used to. But in the beginning it will require serious effort and patience. It will help you and your husband to be patient if you remember that the reward is commensurate with the level of difficulty faced.
Secondly:
What you have mentioned about having a separate apartment offers a way out and a clear solution to this problem. As for your husband, he has two options.
1 – Either he may agree to your living in this separate apartment, and for you to stay there most of the day, as is usually the case for wives, so long as the family home is open and men who are not your mahrams can enter from time to time, and so long as there are other men living with you, which causes you hardship as you have mentioned in your question, otherwise he will be taking the matter of hijab and mixing lightly which will result in sin and fitnah.
2 – If your circumstances prevent that and these is no hope of moving to separate accommodation in the foreseeable future, for one reason or another, then he and his family have to help you to adhere to your hijab and your religious commitment, as we have suggested above. It is not so hard or difficult; many people adhere to that and do just fine.
Thirdly:
It is obligatory for a woman to cover her face in front of non-mahram men, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. We have explained the evidence for that in the answer to question no. 11774. And we have explained the evidence for the prohibition on mixing in the answer to question no. 12525.
Included among “non-mahram men” are the husband’s brother, paternal uncle, and maternal uncle. The wife cannot uncover her face in front of them.
Based on that, you have to cover your face and all of your body when you go out on the balcony and can be seen by men in the street and elsewhere. This should not cause any hardship because it is not something that you do all the time. You can also put a screen around the balcony so that other people will not be able to see the one who is standing there.
Remember that the rulings of Islam are easy, not hard, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah does not want to place you in difficulty, but He wants to purify you, and to complete His Favour to you that you may be thankful”
[al-Maa'idah 5:6]
Islam came to achieve that which is in the interests of both men and woman, and to protect all of society against the causes of corruption and deviation. Difficulty arises because of a mistake in application or a failure to benefit from the blessings bestowed by Allaah. Hence we repeat that you should make use of the separate apartment, and try to live there, away from any mixing and crowding, and you will find happiness and comfort in sha Allaah.
May Allaah help us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
Source
#165. Th Woman (more)
Th woman
as
us as
me
to you
spirit fly
high.
as
whatever is
to be
liked
nurtured rose bushes
botched dish washing.
as no warning
meant here
love and lust to adjust
for us.
***
life
to hold in my arms
is to carry an entire universe
from room to room.
Avoiding the plants
and games
we go to bed.
Sip it slow.
Talk and we find out.
Dream and we find out.
Cry and we find out.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Q&A with Mr. Atheist
When I first started this blog for my journalism class, I included a post about my experience as a virgin (it’s the same post as the second one on here). Pretty quickly after I posted the blog, I got a comment from a guy who calls himself Mr. Atheist. I wanted to share his post and my response, so you can better understand why I do what I do.
Mr. Atheist:
You discuss everything that sucks about not having sex (no pun intended), but why aren’t you? You never say. Didn’t Jesus forgive adultery?
Jessica:
Hmm, Mr. Atheist. You have a very good point. I should have addressed that.
Well, to answer your second question, yes. Jesus forgives adultery. I mean, have you heard the story of the woman who was about to get stoned to death because of her adultery (see John 8:1-11)? Jesus acts kindly and graciously to her, saying “neither do I condemn you.” He forgave the woman. He forgives us. He forgives adultery.
But, to answer your first question, I’m not having sex because of what Jesus says next to the woman. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
The Bible teaches us that adultery and fornication (sex before marriage) is sin. The Bible also teaches us about grace. We can all be forgiven for our sins. However, grace was not designed so that we could continue in our disobedience and use the “get out of jail free card.” We have to act in love and obedience to God and his word as a way of saying thank you for allowing us to be forgiven in the first place.
I also want to say that any time we choose God’s way to live out our daily lives, we are choosing what is truly best for us. Following God’s plan for sex will give me a better sex life than any that I could have created for myself. It will be beautiful, joyous, holy and untainted by past pains and memories. I praise God that He loves us enough to create such a perfect plan for us. 
Do U Know what is "Liwat" and all things related to it?
this is a good article to read,understand and have great knowledge about the subject of focus:Read to Understand!
Sex, Love, and Sin: Investigating Islamic Conceptions of Homosexuality in Response to The Kite Runner
Surrounded by the trash and debris of a dilapidated alley in Kabul, Afghanistan, a young boy named Hassan is cornered, held down, and raped by neighborhood bully Assef. Keeping Hassan in place are Assef’s minions, Kamal and Wali, excited to please their leader but scared to play accomplice to the “sin.” The controversy elicited by this scene, both in Khaled Hosseini’s novel The Kite Runner and in the Paramount Vantage film adaptation, begs the question of whether it is the brutal rape of a servant boy or the homosexual nature of the encounter that qualify as the greater “sin.”
Both Ahmad Kahn Mahmidzada, the boy who plays Hassan in the film, and his father have publicly voiced anxieties about the release of the film. Ahmad admits, “[T]he rape scene upset me because my friends will watch it and I won’t be about to go outside anymore.” These anxieties evoke not only the trauma of rape, but the modern taboo of homosexuality in nations under Islamic rule. Homosexuals in Islamic nations are termed quam Lut, or the “people of Lot,” recalling the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah described in the 27th chapter of the Koran. Even today, one punishment for “homosexuality” is death by stones, a simulation of Allah’s punishment.
However, the leap from sodomite to homosexual is one that spans gaps in both time and interpretation. Moreover, as Khaled El-Rouayheb suggests in Before Homosexuality in the Arab-Islamic World, 1500-1800, “the relevant passages of the [Koran] do not specify which sexual acts had been committed by the people of Lot… [yet] from an early period, Muslim jurists identified ‘the act of the people of Lot’ with an intercourse” (125). While the passages of the Koran makes clear a lustful approach of men by men, that what we call sodomy was practiced in Sodom and Gomorrah is never made explicit. El-Rouayheb’s assertion thus invites further investigation of “homosexuality” and sodomy in both pre-modern and present day Islamic nations.
In his investigation of pre-modern Ottoman Empire, El-Rouayheb suggests that the concept of “homosexuality” did not exist, and that the Islamic jurists of the Ottoman Empire “operated instead with a set of concepts” like liwat, sodomy, and ubnah, men who desire anal intercourse (6). Each term focuses on a specialized act that we would consider “homosexual” today, but it was “simply not seen as instances of one overarching phenomenon” in the pre-modern world (6). In other words, they were not directly connected by love or desire. In fact, El-Rouayheb draws the same distinction as French philosopher Michel Foucault in noting that a “sodomite” is a “perpetrator of an act,” where the term “homosexual” is much more extensive (3). By this token, if Assef’s transgression against Hassan had taken place in the pre-modern Arab-Islamic world, the “sin” that Assef’s followers question would be the act of sodomy, irregardless of the gender of the victim (5, 138).
Consequently, it is inaccurate to argue that “Islam” has always been intolerant to “homosexuality,” and El-Rouayheb goes further to suggest that it was sodomy and fornication that were condemned in judicial texts and by scholars of the Ottoman Empire. El-Rouayheb uncovers a wealth of early Arab-Islamic love poetry dedicated to “beardless youths” from influential men, and notes that “[f]alling in love with a boy was widely considered to be an involuntary act, and as such outside the scope of religious condemnation” (139).
El- Rouayheb also examines many ways in which pre-modern Islamic judges and jurists attempted to shield their eyes, rather than seeking actively to prosecute perpetrators of liwat, by agreeing that “it was best for the offender to refrain from publicizing his misdeed, and to repent in silence,” and providing justifications for sodomizing a male slave (123). Interestingly, “this whole line of thought was said to be one of the things that are ‘known [by scholars] but should not be made known [to people in general]’ (yu’lam wa la yu ‘lam)” (124). There appears then in early Islamic law a tendency to cast a blind eye on acts that might be presently considered “homosexual.”
However, this is a simplification of a complex issue in that even the term liwat did not hold a static meaning and value for all jurists, or even for one jurist at different times. Throughout the texts that El-Rouayheb examines, he finds that “the meaning of liwat constantly oscillates… between the two senses of ‘anal intercourse between men’ and ‘anal intercourse between men’” (131). In other words, an emphasis on the act versus an emphasis on the gender of those involved effects severity of punishment at different times. In conjunction, El-Rouayheb notes that generally, “[in] assessing the gravity of a sexual sin, the mode of intercourse was more important than the genders of the partners” (138).
In his address to Colombia University in September 2007, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declared that there were “no homosexuals in Iran.” In order to maintain the denial of same-sex love or desire in contemporary Islamic nations, homosexuals continue to be punished as adulterers and lecherous sinners. The evasion of the term translates into a cultural suppression of the phenomenon, and consequent oppression of homosexual-identified Muslims living under Islamic rule.
El-Rouayheb’s study attempts to accommodate this shift from the acknowledgement of same-sex love and attraction in the pre-modern period to the blatant denial now professed. He indicates that an early nineteenth century shift to the “adoption of European Victorian attitudes by the new, modern-educated and westernized elite” Muslims provoked the idea that “each gender inclines toward a distinct property possessed by the other gender” and therefore same-gender attraction became “unnatural” (156). El-Rouayheb contends that the term “shudhudh jinsi” emerged in the 1940s or ‘50s to “express the European concept of ‘sexual inversion’ or ‘sexual perversion’” (159). The invention of this term seemed to “[cement] the emerging view that all forms of passionate attraction to boys were equally signs of ‘sickness’ and ‘depravity’” (159). “In this respect, the cultural change has been quite dramatic,” El-Rouayheb says; however, Islamic law “still considers liwat… to be a punishable sin comparable to fornication… [and the] punishment prescribed for the act in Islamic law has also remained largely unchanged” (161).
In the case of the pre-modern world, for El-Rouayheb, the source of tension lay within three conflicting ideals: those “of masculinity, of refined aesthetic sensibility, and of conformity to religious stipulations” (153-4). It would seem from a distinctively Western perspective that these three ideals still motivate the brutal punishment of modern day individuals. Perceptively, El-Rouayheb notes that issues that were “particularly controversial, in light of the delicate balance of ideals, appear to have been the relationship between passionate love and sexual desire; and the extent to which poetry reflected personal experience” (155). Judging from the treatment of homosexuality, rape, and sodomy in The Kite Runner, a novel preoccupied with the representation of Muslims, one could question whether these are the issues that remain prevalent in both Arab-Islamic societies and in communities closer to home.
Sources
Al Fatiha. 15 Feb. 2008
Cooper, Helene. “Ahmadinejad, At Columbia, Parries and Puzzles.” New York Times 25 Sept. 2007. 12 Feb. 2008
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Diab, Khaled. “Intolerant Cruelty.” Rev. of Unspeakable Love, by Brian Whitaker. Diabolic Digest May 2006
El-Rouayheb, Khaled. Before Homosexuality in the Arab-Islamic World, 1500-1800. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2005.
Haviland, Charles. “Kite Runner Flies into Controversy.” BBC News 18 Sept. 2007. 14 Feb. 2008
Imaan – Muslim LBGTQ Support. 15 Feb. 2008
Worth, Robert F. “Gay Muslims Face a Growing Challenge Reconciling Their Two Identities.” The New York Times 13 Jan. 2002, sec. 1. LexisNexis. University of West Florida, Pensacola. 28 Feb. 2008. Keyword: homosexual islam.
–Tina Colvin and Savannah Stephenson
University of West Florida – 11000 University Parkway – Pensacola, FL 32514
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The trailer for Bashy's new movie 'Shank'!
SHANK – IN CINEMAS MARCH 26
“Featuring hot grime artist Bashy, Adam Deacon (KiDULTHOOD, AdULTHOOD) and Kaya Scodelario (Skins), and exclusive live performances from Tempa T and D Double E, Shank is an adrenaline-fuelled look at the way we could be in 2015, and the first must-see film of 2010.”
Emotional.
Why do men feel the need to finish off all the left over’s?
This question is one of those that males tend to look on as a no win situation. Considering we are constantly being asked to pick up this, put away that, questioned as to why we never help in the kitchen or do any cleaning – when we come across a plate with leftovers on it and decide that in order to help you out we should dispose of the extra food (which usually isn’t enough to make a half decent sandwich) you complain! Even after we’ve usually tried to hide, sorry I meant, put the now empty plate in the dishwasher you don’t appear impressed.
That’s the first part of the no win situation as we see it. The second part (as if you aren’t convinced my initial explanation was sufficient) is that we enjoy your cooking/ food preparation so much that we simply can’t run the risk of anyone else having it but ourselves. Do you look on this act as a compliment? I think not.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Most Absurd Human Rights Violations (28): Sex "Crime"
From The Agitator:
23-year-old Matthew Freeman is facing a year in jail for violating Michigan’s laws for convicted sex offenders. He was caught by a police officer playing basketball within 400 feet of a school. He also happened to be in front of his own home. Michigan law requires him to remain more than 1,000 feet away from places where children congregate. Freeman’s mother says she checked with Pittsfield Township police before moving to the home to be sure it complied with Freeman’s status. She says they told her it did. They now say it’s Freeman’s responsibility to make sure he doesn’t violate the sex offender law.
Freeman was convicted of fourth-degree sexual assault in 2003 for having sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend. He was 17 at the time. The conviction required him to spend 10 years on the state’s sex offender list. After seeing the girl again and later getting caught stealing a video game, he was sentenced to 90 days in jail, and ordered to remain on the list until 2028. At that point he dropped out of high school, and hasn’t gone back.
But let’s not be too harsh on Michigan’s law. I’m sure that because of the continuing harassment of people like Freeman, 17-year-boys and 15-year-old girls are no longer having sex in Michigan.
I’ve written before on the ridiculous sex laws in the U.S.
Crazy Email: March 20th 'National Blow Job Day'
March 20
Every feb 14th men get the chance to display their love and affection for the woman in their life but secretly guys feel left out. Theres no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life now there is.
March 20th is now officially steak, blowjob, and shut the fuck up day its a simple effective and self explanatory holiday no cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town just a steak, a blowjob, and a day where women shut the fuck up.
The word is already spreadin but like any new idea it needs a little push to get the ball rolling so spread the word.
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