Seriously. I’ve gone on so many dates with him I can’t count them now. It’s bizarre.
So after dinner one night, we finally go back to his place. I’m kinda nervous about it. I mean, the first night at someone’s place is always awkward and I’ve never gone home with a guy I met online. This is my first. For all I know he could have like taxidermied cats or live with his grandma.
I went to a show with him last week. You knew that was coming, the music snobbery had to take us somewhere. His roommate was there too, waiting for a girl with a very suggestive screen-name. It turns out he had never actually called the girl, only talked via text. When he called to ask where the hell she was — a guy answered. He hasn’t really seen body shots so the idea of she being a him wasn’t entirely implausible. It’s funny because he’s a good looking guy but apparently he’s just down to hookup whenever with whatever. I’m just washing myself down in Purell when I sit on their couch.
Anyway. Back to the other night — We stood on his balcony and drank wine and talked. If I summarized everything he said about relationships — it would sound awful.
As we’re standing there (he’s a little drunk) he says “I wonder if it’s possible to just have a girl to have sex with and just hangout with your friends. You know, I have great friends. I don’t really need a relationship.” Once it came out, I think he wished he could stuff it back in but, too late. He also said he broke up with flight attendant girl because she said she could see herself with him. Forever. He also mentioned how they dated for 5 months and technically were “bf/gf” but they never called each other that. I admit that stuff freaks me out too but it seems his track record is getting scared and running away. I have my guard up. I don’t want to waste my time and really like this guy.
So last night I bring it up at dinner. I’m just honest. I’m like “What do you want? It seems like you just get freaked out. That these girls are too intense. I mean to be honest, the stuff you’ve said — it’s not really lulling me into dating you.”
We talked about it and he admitted he just dated the wrong girls. He tried to make it work when it wasn’t and was bored/complacent too much of the time. He said it’s not a matter of him not wanting a girlfriend, it’s that he just hasn’t met her.
Last night we were hooking up and he knees me in the vagina. I’m not even kidding. He gave it to me in the baby maker. It was so awkward. Apparently my pussy is made of steel because it didn’t really hurt for more than a moment.
We almost had sex and I knew we shouldn’t. I want to take things slow. I want to know where things are going before we’re jumping into bed and cooking pancakes. Honestly, pancakes in the morning are such a convincing way to get me to sleep with you. I told him I had a rule. I didn’t want to go on about but I was just like “Nah we shouldn’t…I can’t.”
He’s like “Well come on, what’s the rule? Do you not want to?”
“Well I don’t just have sex with people…”
“Okay…I respect that. How do they go from a person to someone you’d have sex with…?”
“I’d be with them. We’d be together.”
“How do you both know when you’re with … each other?”
“I think you should both know. Talk about it. You’re on the same page.”
“Well I’m willing to wait until we both know.”
I don’t know why, but I thought that was a very nice thing to say.
He wants to hangout all the time which is nice. But at the same time it worries me. I don’t want it to burnout. I want to take it slow.
I’ll take it slow..
PS. this is for you Blondie.
PPS. I don’t offer to pay anymore. I don’t even touch my wallet.
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