Sunday, November 22, 2009

S.11 - Your Brand Of Crazy Pt. 1

So about two months ago me and my previously mentioned best girlfriend went to a random bar to sing karaoke.  Needless to say (but still worth mentioning) I was drunk… again.  This time I was having fun and around far too many women who were cool and held my interest to be worried about a man.

Okay, that was a lie.  Anyway, so this couple that was there, they sat in the corner and drank beer and never said a word to anyone.  The girl got up and sang, she did her best and was very sweet – the way she sang – like she was incredibly shy.  Well, on down the clock we tick and around 12:30 they got up to leave, except we were all talking and moving around our table, so they just stood there for a second – until they caught my eye.

I of course introduced myself – I’m Annie, what are your names and why are you leaving?! Stay! Have fun!  I”m like… the siren of alcohol and sluttiness.  I just made up that word.  So anyway – They introduce themselves and say they are leaving but ask if I am going to come back to this bar because they come all the time and there’s no one their age who comes – even though I’m like… 5 years younger than them.

I said sure, they left, and I forgot all about them because when I finished screaming out “I”m the Only One” and making the other 18 people in the bar – literally – swoon and clap and scream, a beautiful cowboy type, we’ll call him Muddy, comes up to me and shoves a beer in my hand, grabs me around the waist and breathes on my neck before telling me “That was… fucken bewtuful girl!” (my attempt at his accent)

I instantly lose my panties over this man and forget everything else.   He asks for my phone number, I get shy and get some butterflies… he really is pretty.  Muddy and his accent.  After he calls me and comes over – we ALL knew he was coming over – We talk for a little while and he kisses me.  We touch and talk and laugh and I tell him no sex – because I think I could like him.  I want to get to know him.

He begs me, please let me stick it in you – just once.  What’s once going to do, I ask him, and we laugh more.  I truly believe he understands why I don’t want to have sex just then.  he stays for hours, we drink beer, get to know each other, and we sit on my sofa in the dark, talking about our lives and what we like and hate.  He tells me the beard I love so much is because he covers up a scar from being kicked by a farm animal when he was younger.  I tell him I wish there was a beard to hide a fat ass – and he laughs.  Beard panties.

He leaves because I’m tired and we’re not going to have sex.  He’s tired of touch it/slap it away.  That game is only fun for so long.  He texts me when he gets home and sends a pic of his cock – decent sized, straight, cut, and nice to look at.  He says “It’s not big, but you can have it whenever you want.”  I pass out.  It’s 6 in the morning.  He sends me 37 text messages over the next 3 hours.  I don’t hear any of them.

I wake up to 6 voicemails and 5 are from him.  The last one says, “Hay, call me when u wake up.  I’ll come over an let ya suck my dick.” *click noise*  That was all it was.  He said he would… let. me suck. his dick. He’ll LET me. Suck it.  He’ll do me the favour and let me suck on it.

I text him back and I say “I don’t get down like that.  Give me some time, get 2 know me and I’m more than sure I’ll be doing more than sucking your cock.”

He replies and says “nvm, i don’t like 2 wait.”

That is that.  I never hear from Muddy again – until a week later when we go back to the same bar and he’s there.  with his wife.  His friend, a pretty man with a funny accent takes me to the side and says he is sorry he couldn’t tell me what was going on before his friend came to my house.  He tells me it’s not cool and I am a beautiful girl who deserves better.  He hugs me and asks me if I want a beer.  I say no and leave.

Fuck that dude.  But as much of a douchebag as  he was, the real crazy parts?  They come next.

 

 

……………………………..Up Next?  S.12 – Your Brand of Crazy Pt. 2

[Via http://thirstychicktherapy.wordpress.com]

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