I should sleep, That’s what I told B when I talked to him a few minutes ago. (Kinda exactly, since I went on the comp seconds after we hung up).
Wow, Hannah has got herself a boyfriend. And wow, It’s B again. Second time this f@¤”#§ing week. But this time it’s different. (I keep it as a mantra in my bad moments). He called me, we talked and… in the middle of everything he said “I have a suggestion”.
“Fine?” I said. Didn’t have so high expectations if I may say so since most of his suggestions includes sex.
“If I stop being so cold hearted and… soulless… If I try to care more and be myself, like I am now…. Would you wanna be mine?”
I stopped breathing for a while there. When we’re broken up, I bet i’m gonna read this and think i was so tragical and stupid who didn’t get what a loser he is. But I actually think he has changed. A bit at least. (read: hoping)
But i’m still not sure about this… distance thing. I mean, he’s talking about coming up on weekends and spending as much time as possible but I need someone I can go to whenever I want, and don’t feel forced to be with just because he’s coming. But at the moment i’m like a 10 year old with a crush. Too bad he couldn’t be here to hold me…
Btw, we made a rule since he knows i’m suckish at relationships.
- No cheating. Cheating count as kissing and phone sex.
Well.. To be continued…
He admitted that he had been hurt by me in past… I’ve made him cry… Dont really believe him tho.
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