I have nothing against virgins, except they’re usually not that good in bed – but can you blame them? I also have nothing against people who choose to be virgins – except I certainly don’t understand why the hell they’d want to miss out on something so fun and healthy… But when I came across someone older than your virgin average, it got me thinking – WHY?!
And I mean virgin in the sense one hasn’t penetrated OR been penetrated. He must be good at sucking cock. This particular young man turned out to be 28 years old and a virgin. Far OUT – what’s that in GAY years! He said he wanted to save it for someone special, and that’s fair enough. But perhaps this ‘special person’ could have been his last boyfriend whom he dated for ONE YEAR? No, apparently that guy wasn’t special enough considering the boyfriend ended up cheating on him.
But could you blame him? If your boyfriend refuses to have sex with you after being together for a year, surely that begs the question “what’s wrong with me!?” Turns out things got messy when Exhibit A walked into his house to find 6 of his mates with his [now ex] boyfriend having a mass orgy. Hot. [I mean, that’s a shame…]
Speaking of virgins, if a virgin I was dating told me that he [or she in this case] was pregnant from some spiritual being – I’d sure tell them to fuck RIGHT off! What a load of bullshit [Christmas reference]
One of my mates then alerted me that there are CLUBS of people who exercise in… not exercising… And sure enough, I came across a Chastity Club [I’m not talking about the one on Glee]. “The New Revolution is Here” claims the website. GOD HELP US! [well, he’s helping them I’m assuming]
“Within the pages of Chastidy.com you are going to find blunt, honest, and uplifting reasons why you’re worth waiting for”
I’m guessing you’re NOT going to find links to several porn sites to help you through it though.
The website also kindly offers advice from “David Morrison , who lives with same-sex attractions, and chooses to follow Christ”.
I just threw up.
Happy New Year.
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