I woke up this morning to see a strange light glowing through my duvet and the sound of whirring. Peeking tentatively under the covers I discover a four year old boy with a smile on his face and a wind up torch pointing straight at my lady bits. “Sid, what are you doing. Go and get ready for school you monkey!” Poor lad, it could put him off women forever.
I thought the worst humiliation I would ever suffer was the day I left my Bunny on the side of the bath and found the bathroom perfectly clean and tidy and my favourite toy moved a few inches by my cleaner. But last week I was called into my bedroom for a magic show performed by magician Sid and his delightful assistant Nancy and was witness halfway through to something small, pink and plastic being pulled out of a hat. “Look at the little bunny ears, watch them move, they’re so cute,” squealed Nancy in delight.
“I really think you need to find a new place to hide your sex aids,” says Mr Was Right with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips. Clearly the cupboard in the bedroom with 3 suitcases piled in front of it is not enough to deter young foragers. Time to invest in a safe. A sex safe. Safe sex. But then that makes it all a bit serious. And what if I forgot the number?
I send out a text to the ladies:
“Sex aid unearthed by kids this morning. Where do you hide yours”
Brrrrrrr God honey, that’s funny! Go to Babeland they sell lock up sex toy boxes X V
Brrrrr I just bought a hide a vibe pillow from ebay. My mum in law stayed in my bed the other day and the vibrator I left there the night before went off under her head. Agggh, Xx red-faced Janey
Wohahhh, and I thought my story was bad. I google Hide Your Vibe Pillow. The pillow has a secret compartment where you can store your favorite toy and a small bottle of lube. The pillow won’t hold all of your toys but it’s great for keeping the favorite and most used one to hand. All you have to do is zip it up and toss it on the bed apparently. You can also buy a sweet fluffy teddy that does the same thing but that is just asking for trouble from the kids. Pretty up a shoebox says one mummy blogger, who obviously doesn’t have a girlchild.
I source the web for a multiple of options including one from Vulvalovelovely on the world famous craft site Etsy which sells a fanny shaped cushion to hide your lovelies but that’s like leaving a note on your door saying the cash is under the green towel in my airing cupboard – help yourself – enjoy!
Any ideas?
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