Dear Pixie
I’m stuck! We are an attractive, HWP couple in our late 20’s. We’re fairly new to the lifestyle, but I love playing with hot girls. We’re finding a lot of couples where the girl is cute, but in my opinion the guy is not (either he’s much older than the girl , or is not HWP, or simply not attractive). My husband is a hottie, but is feeling left out because I won’t play with the other guys and therefore he can’t play with the girls. I’m not opposed to playing with other guys but, DAMN, it’s hard to find couples where both the guy and the girl are HWP and roughly the same age. I don’t know what to do with my husband because I feel bad for him sometimes. Great blog!
Thank you!
That’s a great question. I’m fortunate in that my husband doesn’t mind me playing with girls with, or without, him around and he’s been that way since the beginning. He was talking to a friend of ours just this past Saturday at a club and he was asked how often he gets to play (I was busy getting naughty with a girl). He jokingly replied that I play with about forty girls to his one! LOL We honestly have no idea what the real ratio is, but it’s a wide spread for sure. Why is that? For the same reason you expressed. I too find it difficult to find guys to which I’m sufficiently attracted to get naked with. I think a lot of girls are having the same problem.
I’ve noticed that there are a lot of couples in the lifestyle where the girl is significantly younger than the guy and/or the girl is significantly better looking (on a 1-10 scale) than her husband. On occasion, the husband is significantly better looking than the girl, but it’s VERY rare to see a girl that is significantly older than her husband. For couples who are fairly close in age to each other and are both attractive and HWP (height/weight proportional), it can be tough. Let’s face it; girls are looking for more than good looks for life-long partner. Unfortunately, when it comes to sex for fun, their standards are generally going to be a bit different.
I’ve talked to many girls about this. Most say that while they may marry a relatively unattractive guy (because he has so much more to offer) they probably won’t bang another girl’s unattractive guy. Where does that leave them? It either leaves them either getting naughty with each other or just girl-girl play. Some girls feel they get all they need from their husband and simply want to play with something they don’t get everyday… another girl. I’ll be honest; I’ve felt this way before. The problem is that your guy probably thought you got into this as a couple and that there was an expectation that he would be involved.
If your husband is having a hard time watching you play with girls, then you have to do something different. You have to communicate. I’m not a proponent of the argument that somebody should take one for the team. I won’t, and neither will my husband. We’ve met some couples where the guys are adamant that if he can’t play, she can’t play. I don’t have a problem with that position if it’s made by the couple and not just him (which is rarely the case). Often times, it’s a one-way conversation and a result of a guy pushing things, which really sucks.
So, what to do? A long-shot option is trying to find a single girl who is willing to play with both of you (the mythical golden unicorn). Some couples are willing to loan out their girl or have the guy watch his girl play with another couple. Again, these are LONG shots. You could try venturing into a truly open relationship where you would play separately, but I can assure that you (the girl) will get a lot more action than he will, which he probably won’t like either. Most seasoned couples I’ve talked to say that more often than not, one of the two of them will take one for the team once in a while, which is not my idea of fun. You may have to be very patient and wait to meet those couples that look like you do and want the same things you do. Perhaps, you may have to forgo your desires to play with girls once in a while and jump into a swap with a couple without a bi-sexual woman.
I’m not sure if any of this helps because I’ve never really been in the same boat as you. When it comes to girl play, my husband is the least selfish guy you can imagine. His view is that good things happen to those who wait. We almost always start with at least a bit of girl play before we get naughty with a couple. I can say this for sure: there is nothing easy about finding compatible couples unless you’re willing to forgo your senses and just say, “screw it” – and mean it! LOL Hopefully, you can find an avenue that works for both of you!
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