You have no idea how much I wish I’d posted a little something about my Sleeping Arrangements before my trip.
Wow, I could have really used your right-on advice before I’d packed my bags and flown across the Pacific. (As I just read your comments over again, I kept thinking, “Why hadn’t I thought of that?”). In fact, this topic has generated some very lengthy conversations recently with that Lucky Guy — talks lasting even longer than that time we had our Facebook fight.
Here’s where I went wrong from the start: I didn’t have a plan.
When we’d first reserved our little condo in Hanalei, I should have looked carefully at the bed situation and come up with a solid course of action.
After reading about my sleeping dilemma this weekend, Dr. Leah from Singlemommyhood shot off an email to me. First, she gently teased me about the fact that, before I know it, Mae will be off to college, where she’ll probably sleep on a college dorm bed similar to that cot. Who knows? She might even beg me to go away for Spring Break with her girlfriends, assuring me that she’s fine about sleeping on a bare floor.
“Balking at sleeping on the cot in Hawaii had nothing to do with the cot,” explained Dr. Leah.
“Mae was testing the limits. She likely felt a bit of competition with LG. Mae is used to having Rachel’s undivided attention. And kids sense our vulnerabilities. Mae was aware that Rachel had great difficulty with their separation despite Rachel’s stellar airport performance. Mae didn’t need the all-night physical attachment to Rachel. Rachel may have longed for it, especially since Mae had grown up quite a lot during her solo vacation. But these were Rachel’s needs — not Mae’s needs.”
Dr. Leah went on to point out that: “Sleeping arrangements are an adult decision.”
Oh, yes, I’m the grown up here. It was up to ME to decide that that adults would sleep in the bedroom with the locked door — and my child would sleep on the cot in the living room. Before boarding the plane, I should have sat Mae down and mapped out the plan like this:
Keep reading here
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